He was a wise man who invented beer. -Plato
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. -- W.C. Fields
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. -His reply
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. -David Daye
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.-Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.-Deep Thought, Jack Hand
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. -David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of it they just like to pee a lot. - Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.-Kaiser Wilhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. -- Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting. -George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer. -Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway